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Being an influencer has plenty of perks and fun moments. Around this time of year I so enjoy it when men start sliding into my DMs on Instagram or emailing me. No, not that way! They usually write to say something like, ‘My girlfriend really likes your styled and I’m getting ready to ask her to marry me. Do you have any advice about what kind of ring I should get her?‘ Once my squees of delight subside I’ll help these wonderful men any way I can. Therefore this post in my Wedding Wednesday series is one of the most fun & exciting posts for me to write! Let’s talk about engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy.
In this post I’ll cover ways for you to subtly hint about your ring style, tips for you guys on how to find out slyly what kind of ring your gal might like, and where to get the ring!
I feel like I have lots of expertise in this area because I’d been engaged twice previously before Alexander and I tied the knot in August. Please hit pause on your judgement reflexes! I won’t delve into the details here beyond saying that I wasn’t truly with the man I wanted to marry until Alex came along. My point is, I’ve experienced multiple proposals and had all kinds of rings!!
In one case the ring was a total surprise. In the second instance my then-boyfriend gave me a budget and told me to choose any ring my heart desired. And with Alex, it was a mix of surprise and my input. Based on these experiences I have lots of feedback that will help you nail the proposal or get the ring you want or pick out the perfect wedding rings!
TO RING OR NOT TO RING.
For Alex and I it was an easy decision to want wedding rings. We’re very classic people who enjoy updating timeless traditions for modern life. To me, a ring is an important symbol of our commitment to each other and a reminder of all of the love between us. We’ve been married for two months as of this writing and I still look down at my left hand and smile several times a day! My wedding ring and engagement ring have a brilliant positive energy. I adore it!
Likewise, Alex enjoys his ring. In fact to my pleasant surprise he wears it 24/7! It’s become his favorite thinking fidget when he’s at work and he enjoys showing it off to anyone who asks. He even wears it while exercising — I take off my rings for safe-keeping and to prevent injury.
So if you’re wondering whether physical rings make sense, my answer in nearly all cases is YES! Unless you do work where physical injury may result from wearing a ring, or you’re so anti-tradition that the very idea of a ring revolts you, most everyone wants this physical symbol. I get a warm, happy feeling from mine. Who doesn’t want warm, happy feelings on the daily?
FOR THE GUYS: HOW TO LEARN HER RING STYLE.
Pretty much every guy who writes me wants to know how he can slyly ask his girlfriend what kind of ring she might want. I’ve got many examples to help you pick lower down in this post, but first let’s cover ways you can find out her ring style. We want engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy, right?
1. Ask her best friend to help you out.
This is the safest way to keep your upcoming proposal a secret, unless her best friend cannot keep a secret. Get her number from your girl’s phone, or message her on Facebook, Instagram, maybe even LinkedIn! Ask her BFF to find out what kind of metal (gold, rose gold, platinum, silver, etc.) your girl likes, her favorite stone (manmade or natural? ethically sourced? etc.) and what kind of setting she might like. Trust me, her best friend will have ways of asking that don’t arouse any proposal suspicion if you want to keep it a surprise.
If you aren’t sure how to ask her best friend, you could also try her sister or her mom. Someone she is close to. Also, if you have a good idea of her style you can ask other women who have a similar style how they chose their rings. And yes, I’m always happy to help too!
2. Casually mention someone else’s ring and get her feedback.
This works best if you have friends who are engaged or married. You can very casually ask, “What do you think of Jessica’s engagement ring? I don’t usually notice those things but I really like the size/cut/color of hers.” This will temporarily arouse your girlfriend’s suspicion most likely, but it’s worth it to get the information you want.
If you do not have any mutual friends with rings, you can make up a friend or situation. Normally I do not encourage lying of any sort but you’ll quickly be forgiven for this one. You can say something like, “My coworker just bought his girlfriend a ring. It’s a diamond in a gold band. Do you think he did well?” Or “My cousin’s friend just proposed and his girlfriend hated the ring! What kind of ring would totally turn you off?”
You can also ask your girlfriend if she likes your mom’s ring or her mom’s, or any siblings or sisters-in-law that you or she might have.
3. Just ask her directly.
Simple, to the point, and makes sure you give her the chance to tell you what she wants. She may say something like, ‘Surprise me!’ But more than likely she’ll have at least a general idea of what she wants.
It takes a very strong man to be able to receive direct input like this from your girlfriend. But if you love her enough to make her your wife, she will very much appreciate the chance to help choose her ring!
Sometimes men want to design engagement rings on their own or keep the proposal a complete surprise. In this case I highly recommend recruiting her sister, best friend, mom or someone she’s very close to for feedback. The reason I recommend this is that I know way too many men who’ve either had to change course mid-design when they realize they’re way off base or have ended up buying their wives new rings early in the marriage because she hates the engagement ring.
Yes, a woman will be happy with any ring because it is a symbol of your love for her. But why risk starting the road to permanency with something she dislikes, perhaps strongly dislikes? You’ll do well to learn early on that making her happy will increase your own happiness exponentially!
Keep scrolling down in this post for amazing ring ideas. It’s engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy!
FOR HER: HOW TO HINT AT YOUR RING STYLE.
We women often have a sixth sense about proposals — we start to feel when our man is thinking about it. But even if you have no idea if your guy is going to propose soon, next year, or ever, it’s worthwhile to communicate your desires up front.
I didn’t know a thing about engagement rings when Alex was getting ready to propose. I still don’t know very much! If you asked me the quality, cut, size or grade of my ring, I’d only know this information by looking at the gemologist’s statement for our ring insurance. But there were some things I knew I would prefer. So while I didn’t really have strong opinions about size or cut I did know the shape, metal and color I wanted!
In one previous proposal, a boyfriend told me a budget and said I could choose a ring from anywhere. He arranged for an appointment at Tiffany’s which was so much fun! Ultimately in that case I chose an antique ring from a local jeweler that was wayyyyy under budget. It fit my style at the time but truth be told, much like the relationship I later regretted my ring choice. So when I thought Alex was thinking about proposing, I was much more careful in my choices. This time around I asked for a timeless design that I’ll be happy with the rest of my life!
Hopefully you’re not dropping this information 3 months in to a new relationship where there is no indication that your guy has even thought about the future, let alone getting engaged! Timing and your casual energy are very important with these types of conversations. Alex and I had done lots of future talking before I started dropping hints. I also received a hint from a mutual friend that he was asking several ladies about their rings, so I knew my timing was good.
How does a girl hint her preferences to her man?
1. Compare your ring desires to his mom’s ring or someone in his family.
You can often broach the subject when someone else gets engaged or married. Without being mean, it’s ok to say things like, “I love the size of her stone but I’d much prefer moissanite or morganite to a diamond…” or “The rose gold is so pretty! Some day I’d love to have a ring in that metal too.”
If no one in your friendship or family circle is recently engaged or married, you can casually say something along the lines of, “I’ve always loved your mom’s engagement ring. The size, cut and color are perfect in my eyes!”
The key is to pick someone that he sees often, or someone who he can easily ask about rings and to see theirs. You don’t really want him talking to another guy about this unless the guy will say ‘Make sure you ask her!’ because let’s be honest, guys don’t usually understand the full grasp of what makes one design perfect for a woman over another.
2. Leave photos out of rings you like.
It’s funny how the Universe often conspires to bring us what we want. Around the time Alex and I started talking engagement, it seemed like we received more jeweler postcards and engagement ring ads than I’d ever seen! If you see a photo in a magazine of a ring or get a picture in the mail, don’t be afraid to leave it out.
Of course your man is smart and he’ll know what you’re doing, but if he’s as good at playing this game as you he’ll slyly take note and not say anything.
3. Just tell him!
This is the most blunt but also my preferred method. When I got strong feelings that a proposal was on the way, I included three engagement ring ideas on my Christmas wish list, surrounded by other gift ideas to keep the pressure off. This way Alex could pick and choose. If you’re curious, I sent him these for inspiration: 1 | 2 | 3.
When sending my preferences I made sure to keep all three consistent to the shape I wanted (round) and the stone I wanted (sapphire). I would recommend doing this if you feel strongly about any aspect as I do. I feared getting a pear or emerald cut that I knew would not look flattering on my hand!! I wanted to have our engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy. Telling Alex what was important to me made it so!
If he asks, you can feel free to tell him to surprise you, but only say this if you really mean it! I will not say who but I have a friend who played coy and then ended up being super disappointed by the ring she received. No one wants that!! If you have strong feelings, it’s still feminine and ladylike to speak up. Couch your strongest desires around options for the aspects you’re not as opinionated on. Tell him the color and cut you want and leave the setting, metal and size up to him, for example.
WHERE TO BUY THE ENGAGEMENT RING.
Alex ended up working with a family friend to design my engagement ring, and I could not be happier with the result! Since this friend normally sells the stones only I recommend checking out the Rosado’s Box collection from Love & Promise Jewelers for beautiful engagement ring options! We worked with them for our wedding rings, and had Alex been unsure where to get the engagement ring they would have been my choice for that as well!! This is how we do engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy.
If you feel any hesitation about buying rings online, let me ease your fears. We had better service buying online than I’ve had buying fine jewelry in person in New York City or anywhere else!! Not only did I identify with Love & Promise Jewelers’ ethos of handcrafted designs with both conflict-free, ethically sourced natural stones as well as manmade stone, I also love their use of recycled fine alloys and metals and their commitment to giving back.
The Rosado’s Box collection of engagement rings features every shape, size, stone and color you could ever think of! Even better, by buying your engagement ring from them you’ll know that when it comes time to pick a wedding ring set your rings are sure to fit together. Nothing is worse than having a beautiful engagement ring and wedding ring that don’t fit together properly, or don’t look quite right together on your hand! With the Rosado’s Box collection you can buy a wedding set piece by piece or get everything all at once! And men have rings to choose from too.
COMPLETING THE WEDDING RING SET.
I loved every part of the process of working with Love & Promise Jewelers. Firstly their product photos are so clear! When we chose our wedding rings I already had a good idea of what we were getting. They sell ring sizing bands so we could easily determine what size rings we wanted. During the process of fabricating our rings they kept us updated regularly. One of the most exciting emails I received pre-wedding was a status update from Love & Promise Jewelers showing our completed rings, ready for our approval!!
When the rings arrived not only did they come in beautiful boxes, the Rosado’s Box collection also includes a jewelry polishing wipe cloth and ring cleaner. Most jewelers don’t include anything extra, let alone products meant to preserve your investments! This was another way we felt good about our jeweler choice. It was truly engagement ring & wedding ring shopping made easy!!
From engagement rings to wedding sets, wedding bands for women and men and even other jewelry for your wedding day, the Rosado’s Box collection has everything a couple could ask for! More of my favorites from the collection below.