I hope Anthropologie you can sense my frustration about this ridiculous tops situation! It’s not that I think every top should fit. Usually I find at least a few hits. These days however it’s more misses than ever. And I am dissapointed.
Inside, following up this morning’s rhyming reviews, are my thoughts on tops round two.
Note: For sizing reference I am 34-29-38, size 6/M in tops. I am 5’8″.
Tucked in perhaps the Adoria Buttondown ($118) has a chance,
But once on me all I could do was laugh.
This peachy nude blouse has a pretty top button
With open diamond lattice and a collar made of nothing.
There is also swiss dot and tuxedo pleats,
To say nothing of the strangely tabbed sleeves.
I suppose I should note that this blouse is sheer as well,
Though with Anthro these days we know opaque’s gone to hell.
One nice thing about this top is the length,
It hits below the hip with a curved hem that’s a strength.
I’m in my usual size medium here and felt it was big,
A small would be more appropriate here I think.
I’m sure that tucked in this blouse would be fine,
I just don’t like it enough to plan on making it mine.
Finally, FINALLY, a top that I like,
Though is the Crosshatched Buttondown ($78) perfect? Mmmm, not quite.
This tab-sleeved buttondown comes in two variations,
The navy seems more versatile in my estimation.
Though either one has many possibilities.
This blouse has a very cute floral pattern all over,
Be aware! The sleeves are tight is one important disclosure.
I also found that the buttons pull tight,
Over my 34D chest and that’s just not right.
But when I tried sizing up to an 8,
I found the fit was not so great.
So I’d settle on my normal size 6 —
And use some tape for a quick button-gap fix.
What a pain in the butt.
Still it’s worth noting that the collar’s perfection,
And this top had me feeling a more happy direction.
It nips in ever so slightly at the waist,
And has a beautiful contrast material on the underside cuff placed.
If you are looking for a blouse for work,
I think you should give this top a look.
It’s on my wishlist as we speak!
Something about peasant tops always grab my attention,
Though usually I ended up less than enamored.
It’s no wonder then that the Ysmay Peasant Blouse ($78) gets a mention,
More out of necessity than pleasure.
This top has a base of black,
Upon which you’ll find needlepoint trim,
A little bit of ric rac,
That seems to be placed at a whim,
And a lack of fit details anywhere on the back.
A peasant top is often by definition somewhat boxy,
So I can’t say I’m surprised that even a small was roomy,
But boxy shapes typically don’t work on a roxy,
Especially one like me with curves; it leaves me gloomy.
I will say that the fabric is substantial,
The length is great and the sleeves quite nice,
So if you like peasant tops this may be worth the investment financial,
Just be sure to size down — for me a small was the right size.
Back to the rack this went.
Whether by coincidence or by design,
Tiny always has plenty of these blouses I want to make mine.
Of all the versions so far I’ve tried,
The Stitched Nomad Top ($88) runs the smallest of them all.
This top is white with a poly-silk front,
And sleeves that are so sheer they confront,
Any colored bra besides nude will be an affront,
A cami underneath is also a good idea.
It was odd to try on my usual size medium,
And feel so squeezed that my body longed for the freedom,
Of a size large for room at a premium,
Instead of the medium which felt tight everywhere.
I do enjoy the beautiful design on this piece,
Although online it looks more nude than grey to me,
Worn open this would be a pretty top layer release,
Perhaps over a bathing suit in the summer sun.
At full price, I’m not quite there. A pass.
Good lord.
I’m not ready.
For boxes as tops like the Leydon Top ($98).
Batwing sleeves.
I don’t mind them.
Yet this top is too short and the sleeves too long.
Hospital patient?
Perhaps that’s me.
Or at least that’s what passing pedestrians will think.
High necklines?
Might be doable.
But I need some shape to help me out.
So trendy.
I get it.
That doesn’t mean it will work for me.
Batwing waist.
That would work.
Instead of this less flattering execution I’m in.
Size medium.
It felt large.
I feel as though it wouldn’t matter what size though.
I’ll pass.
Perhaps after so many tops that were flops,
The Micaela Tee ($68) seems in comparison to pop.
I don’t mean to deceive when I say,
That this tops seems to fit in a flattering way.
OK, I admit the skirt doesn’t quite work
But over jeans or shorts I think this top wouldn’t irk;
In fact I think it would look really nice.
Of course the first step is wearing the right size.
It’s so annoying that I don’t know what size to grab anymore!
My usual size medium was so big that it bore
Extra material at each side,
A small I think would be more bona fide.
I love the lace stripe down the middle
And the sleeves are lace too, just a little!
Though this top has not much shape,
On those hot summer days I think this is just what it’s take,
To keep me from overheating.
In my cart right now!
Perhaps if I were Tilda Swinton,
The Sania Tank ($68) would be more fitting.
When I saw this top appear online,
I thought it looked cool and implied,
That the fit would be long and lean.
Not so in real life! You see what I mean?
The front is so very short,
It looks dumpy as though to thwart,
All the styling ideas I’d dreamed up in my mind,
Seriously, Anthro, the fit is not very kind.
The front makes my hips look huge!
And the back seems to be a little confused.
It’s one part textured cottony stuff
Then below is a kinda sheer poly — enough!!!
Not to mention a high neckline,
That’s enough to make a busty gal cry.
Once upon a time Anthropologie was v-neck supreme,
With adorable waist-cinching blouses that seem now like a dream,
Instead we’re stuck with unflattering crap,
And no I will not take that back.
I’m sick to death of these trendy items,
That by next spring will just frighten.
All I want are tops that look nice!
And show off my body without vice.
I am getting kinda mad,
So I’m going to stop here — be glad.
If you do decide to get this top,
Let me note that you’ll want to size down even with the crop.
These rhymes have been fun! I hope you’ve enjoyed this run. No more rhyming now — I mean it! (Does anybody want a peanut?)
3 Comments